


BTS/Seventeen Group Chats (Bunch Of Sins)

by PacketOfSuga



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Chats, Eventual Smut, F/M, Funny Shit, Horny little shits, How Do I Tag, It just happened, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character(s), Multi, Polyamory, Sexual Humor, Tags are hard lol, chatfic, except the innocent ones, hobi screams, i added taegi, im gonna add and change these tags as i go, im starting to tag this like I tag my tumblr posts, jikook - Freeform, jimin has a daddy kink, joshua is secretly a sinner, kpop, like chan, lowkey taegi is really cute, meanie, mentions of other kpop groups on occasion, mentions of sope, namjin - Freeform, someone protect chan, taegi - Freeform, theres so much gay, theyre all sins, verkwan, when is he not screaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-19 13:32:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11898789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PacketOfSuga/pseuds/PacketOfSuga
Summary: Honestly just a bunch of hoesExcept ChanHe's an innocent beanPlease protect himBut everyone elseABUNCHOFHOES(Including Joshua secretly)





	1. So Which One Of You Guys Got Dicked?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JeongMom: it wasn't us we aren't sinners like you guys  
> HipHopDad: wipe the cum off your mouth before you claim that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still learning how to use this site  
> Bare with me please??  
> I totally don't know what I'm doing but I'm trying

**Dinosaur has added JeongMom, HipHopDad, AngriestSmolBean, D-Gay, NaegaHosh, WeeWoo, Tol, VerDoneWithYourBS, JisoosChrist, Divaboo, HaoHao, JunBug to the chat**

 

 **AngriestSmolBean:** Why?

 **Dinosaur:** Hi guys!

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** What is this?

 

**AngriestSmolBean has named the chat "Hell"**

 

 **Dinosaur:** A group chat so we can talk to each other

 **JeongMom:** Hello my children

 **JisoosChrist:** You’re telling me I have to deal with these sins all the time?

 **Dinosaur:** I’m not a sin :(

 **JisoosChrist:** Minus Chan

 **D-Gay:** What about me??

 **JisoosChrist:** You’re okay too

 **WeeWoo:** I am not a sin

 **JisoosChrist:** So it wasn’t you getting a dicking last night?

 **WeeWoo:** What? No

 **JisoosChrist:** Gyu you also agree with that statement?

 **Tol:** Why would I know if Wonwoo got dicked last night?

 **JunBug** : Who else would be doing the dicking

 **WeeWoo:** Shut up Jun

 **JunBug:** Hey don’t attack me at least you’re getting dicked

 **WeeWoo:** I literally didn’t get dicked

 **JisoosChrist:** Then who did?

 **JunBug:** Probably mom and dad

 

**HaoHao has started a private conversation with JunBug**

 

 **HaoHao:** You think they know it was us?

 **JunBug:** Nah I doubt it

 **HaoHao:** Good

 **JunBug:** I don’t see the big deal tho

 **HaoHao:** I just don’t want everyone to know yet

 

**Tol has started a private conversation with WeeWoo**

 

 **Tol:** Nice save there

 **WeeWoo:** They’re so onto us

 **Tol:** It’s okay if they find out right?

 **WeeWoo:** I mean yeah but… Jun’s gonna kill me cause I didn’t tell him right away

 **Tol:** I’ll protect you, baby

 **WeeWoo:** How sweet of you

 

**Hell**

 

 **JeongMom:** It wasn’t us thank you very much

 **JeongMom:** We’re not a couple of sinners like you guys

 **HipHopDad:** It might’ve been us

 **JeongMom:** Shut up no it wasn’t we don’t do such dirty things

 **HipHopDad:** Wipe the cum off your mouth before you claim that?

 **JeongMom:** Fuck you okay

 **HipHopDad:** I thought we didn’t do that??

 **JisoosChrist:** Gross

 **JeongMom:** I say it was Seungkwan

 **Divaboo:** Who me? I’d never. I’m an innocent child like Chan

 **NaegaHosh:** LOL bitch where

 **HaoHao:** It was probably Hoshi… SINyoung

 **NaegaHosh:** I feel attacked?

 **AngriestSmolBean:** Couldn’t have been Hoshi who would he have gotten dicked by?

 

**NaegaHosh has started a private conversation with AngriestSmolBean**

 

 **NaegaHosh:** Rude as fuck but good job

 **AngriestSmolBean:** Figured it would be the best way to get their attention off both of us

 **NaegaHosh:** It worked

 

**Hell**

 

 **JisoosChrist:** Well someone got dicked

 **JunBug:** Maybe it was you

 **JunBug:** And you’re trying to hide it by pinning it on all of us

 **JisooChrist:** …

 **JisoosChrist:** It was you wasn’t it?

 **JunBug:** What? No. See! You’re trying to pin it on everyone else!

 

**JisoosChrist has started a chat with JeongMom and HipHopDad**

**JeongMom has changed the group name to My Cuties <3**

 

 **JisoosChrist:** Jun’s suspicious

 **HipHopDad:** This is why you don’t accuse everyone of fucking when you’re also someone who was getting fucked last night

 **JeongMom:** When can we tell everyone anyways?

 **JisoosChrist:** When they stop trying to prove that I am a sinner

 **JisoosChrist:** Cause I’m not

 **HipHopDad:** Both of you with your lies smh

 

**Hell**

 

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** Why don’t we just drop it? It’s not that big of a deal?

 **JisoosChrist:** Got something to hide Vernon?

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** No I just feel like it’s stupid to try and figure out who fucked who like if they don’t want everyone to know then respect that?

 **JunBug:** …

 **Divaboo:** Who are you and what have you done with Vernon?

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** What do you mean???

 **JunBug:** You said something intelligent for once. I’m convinced someone has you captive now, blink twice if you need help

 **HaoHao:** Jun we’re texting you can’t see him blink

 **JunBug:** Shit you right

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** I was just SAYING

 **WeeWoo:** I say he’s hiding something

 **NaegaHosh:** ^

 **Tol:** ^

 **AngriestSmolBean:** ^

 **Divaboo:** ^^

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** Wow okay

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** You’re right I’m hiding the fact that I fucked Seungkwan last night

 **Divaboo:** WOW

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** That’s what you get for going against me

 **Divaboo:** It was a good fuck tho

 **VerDoneWithYourBS:** True

 **JisoosChrist:** They were totally onto us for a second

 **JisoosChrist:** … This is not pm

 **HipHopDad:** s m f h

 **JunBug:** I KNEW IT

 **JunBug:** HONG JISOO YOU SLUT

 **JunBug:** WHO ARE YOU FUCKING??

 

**JisoosChrist has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm slowly figuring out how to work this  
> I'm kind of proud of this chapter??? I hope you guys enjoy I had fun writing it


	2. Jimin Has A Daddy Kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine: iM FuCkINg sCReAMiNg  
> Appa: When aren’t you screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~WARNING~  
> There's smut in this chapter  
> It's very short but  
> It's definitely there  
> Just skip the paragraph that's not chatfic if you don't want to read smut you won't miss much they talk about it in the chat anyways

**Jimin** **has added Kookie,  TaeTae, Eomma, Appa, Yoongi, and Sunshine to the chat**

 

**TaeTae:** why don't you and hyung get a nickname?

**Jimin:** cause I'm perfect and I didn't want hyung to hurt me

 

**Kookie has changed Jimin’s name to Shortest**

 

**Shortest:** okay wow really?  

**Yoongi:** he's not wrong

 

**Shortest has changed Yoongi’s name to Grandpa**

 

**Grandpa:** alrighty then we gonna fight.

 

**Appa has changed the chat name to Eomma Jin Appa Joonie and the five bastard children**

 

**TaeTae:** so am I the only one that heard someone get dicked last night?  

**Appa:** prob jin

**Eomma:** I'm innocent

**Appa:** but I did dick you down last night

**TaeTae:** no it sounded different than you hyungs

**Grandpa:** wasn't me

**Sunshine:** not me

**TaeTae:** rip sope

**TaeTae:** did jimin get dicked last night

**Shortest:** why immediately assume it was me?  What about kookie

**TaeTae:** cause he obviously did the dicking

**Shortest:** obviously?

**TaeTae:** you're a bottom.

**Kookie:** he's not wrong

**TaeTae:** so you did dick him down

**Kookie:** no but he is a bottom

**Shortest:** what do you mean no?  

**Shortest:** you totally did  

**Kookie:** really hyung?  

**Shortest:** they heard us last night there's no point in hiding it

**Kookie:** okay. So you're saying you're fine with them hearing you yell my name?  

**Eomma:** children

**Eomma:** this is inappropriate

**Shortest:** yeah I guess that is what I'm saying

**Kookie:** okay

**Kookie:** brb gotta do some proving

**Shortest:** wait what?  

**TaeTae:** I think you're gonna get dicked tbh

 

Jungkook walked into Jimin’s room and closed the door behind him. Jimin set his phone down and looked up at the taller boy.

“What are you proving?” Jimin asked quietly. Jungkook leaned down and pressed his lips to Jimin's kissing him roughly,  his hand holding Jimin's chin. Jungkook’s other hand traveled down Jimin's chest to rest on his dick through his pants.

“So,  hyung, you're really okay with them hearing how much you moan for me?” Jungkook whispered against Jimin's lips before tilting his head back to bare his throat. Jimin gulped as Jungkook kissed down his neck.

He planned to say yes and call Jungkook's bluff but all that came out was,  “Umm.”

Jungkook chuckled, his breath washing over Jimin's neck making him shiver. Jungkook slowly got down on his knees in front of Jimin. Jimin felt his dick get hard at the sight of Jungkook on his knees in front of him. Jungkook smirked and slowly rubbed Jimin's dick through his pants making Jimin bite his lip. Jungkook's fingers found the top of Jimin's pants and he tugged on them. Jimin quickly slid his bottoms off throwing them to the side. Jungkook's hand wrapped around Jimin's hard cock and began to stroke him. He leaned down and his tongue snaked out to lick the tip of Jimin's cock, making it twitch and throb in his hand. Jungkook slid Jimin's dick into his mouth slowly then started bobbing his head up and down. Jimin whimpered and threw his head back,  covering his mouth with his hand. Jungkook paused and glared up at Jimin,  taking his mouth off his cock.

“Keep your hands down away from your mouth or I'll stop right now.” Jimin slowly put his hand down on the bed and gripped at the sheets. Jungkook took Jimin’s dick into his mouth again, sliding it down his throat then began bobbing his head up and down again. Jimin let out a moan, sifting his fingers through Jungkook’s hair.

“Jungkook,” Jimin moaned out, lightly tugging the other boys head up. Jungkook removed his mouth from Jimin’s dick and smirked up at him. 

“What, don’t want them to hear?” Jungkook teased. 

“Shut up and fuck me.” 

 

**Eomma Jin Appa Joonie and the five bastard children**

 

**TaeTae:** I knew he was gonna get dicked

 

**Grandpa has changed Shortest’s name to PermanentBottom**

 

**Grandpa has changed Kookie’s name to JungCock**

 

**Grandpa:** That’s better

**Sunshine:** He’s gonna try and kill you

**Grandpa:** He can try

**Grandpa:** I’m his hyung I’m allowed to kill him

**Eomma:** No killing

**Grandpa:** But hyung he deserves it

 

**Eomma has changed Grandpa’s name to PacketOfSuga**

 

**PacketOfSuga:** that’s not much better?? 

**TaeTae:** Holy shit

**TaeTae:** They’re loud as fuck

**Appa:**...Did anyone else just hear that

**TaeTae:** OH

**TaeTae:** MY

**TaeTae:** GOD

**TaeTae:** JIMIN HAS A DADDY KINK

**Eomma:** Sigh

**Eomma:** My children are kinky as fuck

**PacketOfSuga:** Don’t act like you don’t call Namjoon daddy

**TaeTae:** I would

**Eomma:** ;)

**Sunshine:** He uSEd An EMoJI iM WhEEzIng

**TaeTae:** When you try to be like the cool kids…

**Eomma:** Fuck you guys

**Sunshine:** jImIN JUsT CalLEd JuNGKooK OPpA

**PacketOfSuga:** You guys are killing Hobi look what you did

**Sunshine:** iM FuCkINg sCReAMiNg

**Appa:** When aren’t you screaming

**Sunshine:** I don’t appreciate this abuse I feel personally attacked and it’s not okay

**Sunshine:** My dad abuses me emotionally???|| Storytime

**Appa:**...I’m disowning you

**Sunshine:** My dad put me up for adoption??|| Storytime

**Eomma:** Hobi stop

**Sunshine:** No.

**PacketOfSuga:** Please

**PacketOfSuga:** It’s time to hajima

**Sunshine:** Okay

**TaeTae:** WHIPPED

**Sunshine:** What?

**TaeTae:** W H I P P E D

 

**Sunshine has left the chat**

 

**PacketOfSuga:** Look what you did

 

**PacketOfSuga has added Sunshine to the chat**

 

**Sunshine has changed TaeTae’s name to Alien**

 

**Alien:** That was uncalled for

**Alien:** we fighting hyung

**Eomma:** Oh he running

 

**Appa has changed Sunshine’s name to** **DASIRUNRUNRUN**

 

**PermanentBottom:** What did I miss?

**PermanentBottom:** Okay who changed my name?

**PacketOfSuga:** Tae

**Alien:** That’s a damn lie

**JungCock:** Wait why is hyung running

**JungCock:**...I hate you all

**Alien:** Yoongi hyung changed both

**PacketOfSuga:** snitches get stitches boy

**Eomma:** Children behave

**Alien:** Stitches get bitches B)

**PermanentBottom:** Is that a saying?

**PacketOfSuga:** That’d be helpful for you if you didn’t like cock

**Alien:** Oh shit you right

**DASIRUNRUNRUN:** so jimin

**DASIRUNRUNRUN:** You have a daddy kink

**JungCock:** LOL

**DASIRUNRUNRUN:** stfu you’re the one he calls daddy and _OPPA_ so don’t act like you’re innocent

**PermanentBottom:** Jungkook likes it tbh

**PermanentBottom:** Like call him daddy/Oppa and instant boner

 

**JungCock has left the chat**


	3. Jeonghan Just Wants Everyone To Be Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JunBug: I’ll be nice now :)  
> Tol: He… Sent a smiley face…  
> JunBug: Shut the fuck up you overgrown lima bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking late with this chapter gjafkg  
> I wanted to post a chapter every day??  
> Then forgot that I have a life sometimes and was really busy all weekend  
> BUT IT'S HERE NOW  
> IT TOOK FOREVER  
> BUT IT'S HERE  
> Also would've been done faster if I didn't keep scrolling through tumblr while trying to write  
> I am the queen of procrastination

**JeongMom has added JisoosChrist to the chat**

 

**JunBug:** Oh look

**JunBug:** The sluts back

**JisoosChrist:** Jun I will come over there and beat your ass

**JeongMom:** Children

**JeongMom:** I’ve decided that from now on we’re being nice to each other

 

**JunBug has changed HaoHao’s name to MingHoe**

 

**JunBug:** Oh... last one I swear

**JunBug:** I’ll be good now :)

**Tol:** He… Sent a smiley face…

**JunBug:** Shut the fuck up you overgrown lima bean

**NaegaHosh:** LOL OVERGROWN LIMA BEAN

 

**NaegaHosh has changed Tol’s name to OvergrownLimaBean**

 

**HipHopDad:** Being nice to each other is going so well...

**Dinosaur:** Hey!

**JeongMom:** Chan! My baby child

**JeongMom:** Thank god you’re the only good one here

**D-Gay:** I’m entirely offended?

**JeongMom:** Seokmin your name is D-Gay. You’re not that innocent

**D-Gay:** Seungkwan changed it how is that MY FAULT?

**Divaboo:** Okay wow?

**Divaboo:** thrown under the bus

**JeongMom:** Are you guys even capable of being nice?

**JunBug:** Of course we are!

**JunBug:** Hao

**MingHoe:** What

**MingHoe:** … when did that happen? Who changed my name

**JunBug:** Seungkwan

**Divaboo:** ME? I THINK FUCKING NOT SCROLL UP BB

**MingHoe:** Fuck you Jun

**NaegaHosh:** tsk tsk we’re being night Hao

**JunBug:** I mean… I’d say that’s pretty nice

**JunBug:** Didn’t know you wanted to fuck me that badly HaoHao ;)

**Divaboo:** a WiNKy FacE iM-

**MingHoe:** Jun. Shut up.

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** Oooooh he used periods Jun’s in trouble

**WeeWoo:** Do you guys even know how to be nice?

**AngriestSmolBean:** No

**JunBug:** brb goggling how to be nice

**JunBug:** Googling*

**NaegaHosh:** gOGgLiNG

**JunBug:** I feel attacked?

**JunBug:** Suck a dick?

**Dinosaur:** that's not nice

**JunBug:** it is if he enjoys sucking dick

**JunBug:** Hoshi do you enjoy sucking dick? SINyoung

**NaegaHosh:** Didn’t Hao call me that yesterday?

**WeeWoo:** stealing your boyfriends jokes huh Jun?

**MingHoe:** …

**WeeWoo:** What?

**WeeWoo:** OH shit.

**JisoosChrist:** wait

**JisoosChrist:** wAIT

 

**MingHoe has left the chat**

**JisoosChrist has added MingHoe to the chat**

 

**JisoosChrist:** Oh no you fucking don’t

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** JUN AND HAO ARE FUCKING???

**MingHoe:** No.

**JeongMom:** Let him be guys

**Divaboo:** OMG BUT

**Divaboo:** WE CAN GO ON DOUBLE DATES NOW

**MingHoe:** No we can’t

**JunBug:** Wonwoo was just joking

**OvergrownLimaBean:** lol

**JunBug:** Right Gyu?

**OvergrownLimaBean:** see I want to agree with you but

**OvergrownLimaBean:** you did call me an overgrown lima bean

**WeeWoo:** lol

**JunBug:** brb killing woowoo and the fucking tree

**JeongMom:** no killing

**JeongMom:** what the fuck did I say earlier?

**HipHopDad:** this chats a fucking mess

**Divaboo:** so who tops?

**MingHoe:** can we just change the subject

**JunBug:** I do

**MingHoe:** Jun shut the fuck up do you want to get laid later?

**JunBug:** yes

**MingHoe:** then shut up or come put your mouth to better use

**WeeWoo:** wait I’m confused

**WeeWoo:** Hao is just accepting it?

**MingHoe:** Idk I’m sleepy I don’t feel like arguing over it

**MingHoe:** I’m dating Jun, we fuck so what

**JunBug:** He’s gonna wake up tomorrow and read this like what the fuck did I do

**MingHoe:** Nahhh I’m good but I am gonna sleep cause sleepy Hao Hao is sleepy

  


**MingHoe:** holy fucking shit

**JunBug:** morning babe

**MingHoe:** WHY DIDN’T ANYONE STOP ME?

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** lol

**NaegaHosh:** I was curious on how far you’d go tbh lol

**JunBug:** man

**JunBug:** worst part is I didn’t even get to dick Hao down last night :(

**MingHoe:** oh ffs

**NaegaHosh:** A fRowNY FaCE nOw iM

**JunBug:** Choke.

**NaegaHosh:** we fighting???

**JunBug:** YEAH LET’S GO

**JunBug:** jk Hao just came into my room and got on his knees guess who’s getting dicked ;)))

**MingHoe:** put your phone down and focus on what I’m doing

**JisoosChrist:** sinners smh

**JeongMom:** sigh


	4. Tae sends Yoongi nudes... Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alien: I love you bro  
> PermemantBottom: I love you too bro   
> PacketOfSuga: And I wanna kill myself  
> PacketOfSuga: bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aH i DiD It AGaIn iM sORrY

**Alien has added JungCock to the chat**

 

**Alien:** Hi daddy

**JungCock:** Do you want to die Taehyung?

**Alien:** I’m sorry did I make you hard? Questioning your choice in boyfriends? 

**PermenantBottom:** bro

**Alien:** yeah bro?

**PermenantBottom:** You know I love you bro but we gon fight

**Alien:** Don’t worry bro I don’t want your boyfriend

**Alien:** I mean a boyfriend would be nice

**Alien:** but not your boyfriend bro

**PermenantBottom:** Okay we good bro

**Alien:** Broooooo

**PermenantBottom:** Yeah bro?

**Alien:** I love you bro

**PermemantBottom:** I love you too bro 

**PacketOfSuga:** And I wanna kill myself

**PacketOfSuga:** bro

**Alien:** but hyung ;-;

**PacketOfSuga:** well it’s either me or you two

**Alien:** oh

**Alien:** bye hyung!

**PacketOfSuga:** you’re a cunt. 

**Eomma:** this got dark 

**Eomma:** have any of you seen my phone?

**PermenantBottom:** nope 

**Alien:** nah 

**PacketOfSuga:** no, what are you on rn if you don’t have your phone

**Eomma:** my laptop 

**Sunshine:** hello I’m here to brighten your fucking day bitches

**Sunshine:** I’m your hope

**Sunshine:** I’m your angel ;)

**PacketOfSuga:** you’re a dork

**Eomma:** Oh okay so Hobi uses an emoji and you guys are fine but if I do it’s a problem???

**Eomma:** Rude ass kids :(

**Alien:** lololol He DiD iT aGaIN iM-

**Eomma:** jimin control your boytoy 

**PermenantBottom:** He’s not my boytoy

**JungCock:** that would be me

**Appa:** um

**Appa:** Jin hyung…

**Eomma:** ...What’d you do

**PacketOfSuga:** probably broke something

**Appa:** I found your phone… 

**Eomma:** …Namjoon I swear to god 

**Appa:** It wasn’t on purpose I was looking around the room to try and find it and 

**Appa:** I threw the blanket off the bed and it flung out of the blanket and smashed into the wall 

 

**Alien has changed Appa’s name to DestructiveDad**

 

**Eomma:** this is literally the 14th phone you’ve broken

**PacketOfSuga:** there’s no way that’s true

**Eomma:** six of mine, seven of his, one of yours

**DestructiveDad:** hyung!

**PacketOfSuga:** ...one of mine?

**DestructiveDad:** It was an accident and I replaced it before you found out

**PacketOfSuga:** you’re literally the clumsiest person I’ve ever met? 

**PacketOfSuga:** how did you even manage to break MY phone? 

**DestructiveDad:** sigh okay so

**Alien:** Story time!!

**Sunshine:** gather around kids

**Alien:** jiminie and kookie are prob fucking

**PermenantBottom:** literally just sitting here reading the group

**JungCock:** same I’m too sleepy to contribute tbch but dad tell the story 

**DestructiveDad:** well I went into the bathroom after you

**DestructiveDad:** and you left your phone in there 

**DestructiveDad:** and I thought it was my phone for a second

**DestructiveDad:** so I got in the shower with it and was about to turn on some music 

**DestructiveDad:** and you got a message and it scared me cause it was very obvious at that point that it wasn’t my phone 

**DestructiveDad:** and I uh dropped it

**DestructiveDad:** in the shower 

**Eomma:** how did you automatically know that it wasn’t your phone?

**DestructiveDad:** cause one of the kids wouldn’t send me a picture of them half naked 

**Alien:** LOL

**Alien:** WAIT YOU SAW THAT?

**PermenantBottom:** what?? Tae? I thought I was the only one that got pictures like that?

**JungCock:** I’m sorry what?

**Alien:** Lmfaoo I wanted hyungs opinion

**PacketOfSuga:** lol

**PacketOfSuga:** yeah that’s a pretty normal text from Tae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay  
> So   
> I'm making a schedule cause I learned posting a chapter every day isn't happening  
> And I start school next week so it's just  
> Not gonna happen you know?  
> So I'm gonna post once a week on either Friday or Saturday   
> That way I can make actual good content and not be extremely stressed


	5. Jun Feels Betrayed But At Least Wonwoo Has Been Getting Dicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JunBug: Wonwoo’s a slut, Mingyu’s a fucking beanstalk who’s also a slut, Jisoo is a slut but we knew that already, Hao supported me, I screamed, and Woozi tried to attack me with a guitar

**JunBug:** OH 

**JunBug:** MY

**JunBug:** FUCKIGN

**JunBug:** GOD

**WeeWoo:** Jun calm down 

**OvergrownLimaBean:** It really wasn’t what it looked like

**JeongMom:** ?

**JunBug:** OH REALLY? 

**JunBug:** IT WASNT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE???

**JunBug:** CAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE MY BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN LYING TO ME FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG 

**JisoosChrist:** Wait what? 

**D-Gay:** What happened?? 

**DivaBoo:** Storytime!

**JunBug:** WELL YOU SEE 

**JunBug:** OUR INNOCENT LITTLE WONWOO

**WeeWoo:** ffs Jun

**JunBug:** ISNT AS INNOCENT AS WE THOUGHT 

**JunBug:** WILD WILD THOTS

**JunBug:** OH AND MINGYU OHHHHHH THIS BOY

**OvergrownLimaBean:** Jun

**JunBug:** THIS BOY ISNT INNOCENT AT ALL 

**MingHoe:** what even happened?

**WeeWoo:** your boyfriend is being overdramatic is all. 

**JunBug:** mE?

**JunBug:** oVeRDrAmaTiC???

**JunBug:** IM SORRY DID YOU WALK IN ON YOUR BEST FRIEND GETTING FUCKED???

**WeeWoo:** yes actually multiple times

**MingHoe:** sorry about that… 

**JisoosChrist:** S I N N E R S

**HipHopDad:** lol

**JunBug:** YEAH BUT I TOLD YOU THAT ME AND HAO WERE FUCKING 

**DivaBoo:** wait wait wait who was fucking Wonwoo???

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** so many people secretly fucking smh

**JunBug:** OUR VERY OWN OVERGROWN LIMA BEAN WAS FUCKING WONWOO

**JunBug:** fucking beanstalk 

**JisoosChrist:** wow

**JisoosChrist:** I do recall Wonwoo saying “I am not a sin” and “I literally didn’t get dicked” 

**JisoosChrist:** You’re a sinner and a liar smfh 

**JunBug:** that’s right Hong Jisoo 

**JunBug:** Jeon Wonwoo is a slut just like you 

**JisoosChrist:** I’m not a slut thank you VERY MUCH

**JeongMom:** is there ever not drama going on in this group?

**NaegaHosh:** nope keeps things interesting 

**AngriestSmolBean:** lol

**WeeWoo:** we never did find out who Joshua is fucking 

**JunBug:** don’t change the subject you slut

**JunBug:** why didn’t you tell me

**WeeWoo:** I just

**WeeWoo:** didn’t 

**JunBug:** JFSIDLKJBMVAERIALGVEK

**JunBug:** I’m disowning you as my best friend 

**JunBug:** Guys my spot for best friend is opened send in applications 

**MingHoe:** don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?

**JunBug:** nO CaNt YoU JUsT sUPpOrt Me MInGhaO?

**MingHoe:** not if you’re gonna be over dramatic and think irrationally 

**JunBug:** fine 

**JunBug:** Wonwoo you can still be my best friend

**JunBug:** But you’re still a slut.

 

**JunBug has renamed Hell to Sluts(especially Woo and Jisoo)**

 

**JunBug:** :)

**NaegaHosh:** sTOP WiTh tHe EmOJiS iM whEeZInG 

**JunBug:** I hate you all 

**JunBug:** wild thots 

 

**MingHoe has renamed Sluts(especially Woo and Jisoo) to Wild Thots**

 

**JunBug:** GUYS MY BABY IS SUPPORTING ME!!!!

**MingHoe:** Jun relax or I will leave this group so fast

**JunBug:** okayokay we cool I’m cool

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** he's actually screaming 

**MingHoe:** I know I can hear it

**D-Gay:** I think we all can 

**AngriestSmolBean:** I’m about to murder him 

**DivaBoo:** oh he stopped

**JunBug:** woozi ran in with a guitar and I got spooked 

**NaegaHosh:** lol

**OvergrownLimaBean:** It’s all fun and games till woozi comes at you with a guitar 

**Dinosaur:** Hi guys!

**Dinosaur:** What’d I miss?

**JunBug:** Wonwoo’s a slut, Mingyu’s a fucking beanstalk who’s also a slut, Jisoo is a slut but we knew that already, Hao supported me, I screamed, Woozi tried to attack me with a guitar 

**Dinosaur:** Oh wow

**Dinosaur:** a lot of shit went down 

**JeongMom:** gASp LEE CHAN

**JeongMom:** DID YOU UJST SWEAR

**Dinosaur:** oops no I didn’t

**JeongMom:** cHAN YUO AER A BABY YOU CANT SAY THINGFS LIKE TAHT 

**JeongMom:** YOURE GROUNDED 

**Dinosaur:** it was an accident 

**JeongMom:** G R O U N D E D 

**Dinosaur:** :(

**JeongMom:** WHO TAUGHT THE BABY HHOW TO SWAER 

**D-Gay:** I mean we all swear in this chat so like probably everyone

**JeongMom:** YOU'RE ALL FUCKING GROUNDED

**JeongMom:** holy shit I just swore

**JeongMom:** omg

**JeongMom:** so… I’m grounded too???

**JeongMom:** this hurts my brain I need to lay down

**HipHopDad:** I’d like everyone to know he just stopped in the middle of the hallway and laid down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?   
> I'm posting on time with a decent chapter??   
> Wow


	6. Tae Has A Secret Boyfriend??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alien: I’m so bored I can’t wait till I can have your cock again daddy  
> Alien: SHIT NO WWAIT  
> Eomma: KIM TAEHYUNG  
> PacketOfSuga: lol did you just accidentally sext the group?  
> Alien: guys please ignore that

**Sunshine has started a group with PermanentBottom, JungCock, Eomma, and DestructiveDad**

**Sunshine has changed the group name to Taegi???????**

 

 **Sunshine:** so like

 **Sunshine:** am I the only one that thought it was weird for Tae to text Yoongi hyung a nude for his opinion???

 **PermanentBottom:** No it’s totally weird like??? I thought I was the only one that got those before he sent them to other people???

 **Eomma:** Other people????

 **JungCock:** Why are you getting nudes from him???

 **DestructiveDad:** Do you guys know how to use question marks?

 **Eomma:** do you know how to not break things????

 **DestructiveDad:** …

 **PermanentBottom:** Okay I’m his best friend he wants to know if he looks good before sending them to his secret boyfriend you guys aren’t supposed to know about

 **Sunshine:** wait do you think that secret boyfriend could be hyung???

 **PermanentBottom:** I don’t know doesn’t Tae make sope jokes tho???

 

**Eomma Jin Appa Joonie and the five bastard children**

 

 **Alien:** I’m so bored I can’t wait till I can have your cock again daddy

 **Alien:** SHIT

 **Alien:** NJFNSOIFA

 **Alien:** NO

 **Alien:** DONT LOOK AT THAT

 **Alien:** MAKE

 **Alien:** IT

 **Alien:** GO

 **Alien:** AWAY

 **Alien:** NFKLS

 **Alien:** SIOIAOSGEAV

 **Alien:** MIOJAKLSFV

 **Eomma:** KIM TAEHYUNG

 **PacketOfSuga:** lol did you just accidentally sext the group?

 **Alien:** guys please ignore that

 **PermanentBottom:** AND YOU MADE FUN OF ME FOR CALLING JUNGKOOK DADDY??

 **PacketOfSuga:** lol

 **Sunshine:** who was that sext for hmmm???

 **Alien:** I don’t know what you’re talking about??

 **JungCock:** why are you sending my boyfriend nudes when you have your own boyfriend?????

 **Alien:** who said I have a boyfriend????

 **Alien:**... Park Jimin

 **PermanentBottom:** Who me?

 **Alien:** you told them

 **PermanentBottom:** whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

 **PermanentBottom:** No

 **Alien:** woooow

 **Eomma:** soooo who you dating my child???????

 **Alien:** no one???????????

 **Eomma:** DONT LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

 **Alien:** ahahahahhahaha it’s no one you’d know hahahah

 **Sunshine:** Are you sure???

 **Sunshine:** I THINK IT’S SOMEONE IN OUR GROUP

 **Alien:** hahahha

 **Alien:** what

 **Alien:** no

 **Sunshine:** suspicious

 **Sunshine:** cough cough yoongi hyung is oddly silent

 **DestructiveDad:** I mean is that really odd?

 **Alien:** he’s probably sleeping

 

**Alien has started a private conversation with PacketOfSuga**

 

 **Alien:** hyung?

 **Alien:** daddy??

 **PacketOfSuga:** baby… how in the hell did you manage to sext the group message

 **Alien:** I wasn’t paying attention  >.<

 **PacketOfSuga:** lol

 **PacketOfSuga:** you’re cute

 

**Taegi???????**

 

 **Sunshine:** so like?? Anyone else with me on this???

 **JungCock:** I don’t know

 **JungCock:** Tae’s dating someone but idk about hyung

 **Eomma:** I THINK ITS YOONGI

 **PermanentBottom:** I FEEL LIKE TAE WOULD TELL ME IF IT WAS SOMEONE IN OUR GROUP THO????

**DestructiveDad:** lol you guys just love to gossip huh?

**Eomma:** I JUST WANT MY CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY?????

**Eomma:** AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO MY CHILDREN ARE FUCKING 

**Eomma:** BUT NO ONE LIKES TO TELL US THINGS 

**Sunshine:** but that would totally make sense tho for why they didn’t tell 

**Sunshine:** you guys know how hyung is 

**JungCock:** hmm true… 

**PermanentBottom:** are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?? 

**Sunshine:** Operation figure out if Taegi is real????

**Eomma:** yes but shorten it to just operation Taegi cause that's long 

**Eomma has changed the group name to Operation Taegi**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reformatting the private conversations a little bit so yeah :)))))))


	7. Joshua You Little Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JunBug: it’s suspicious   
> MingHoe: ^  
> JunBug: when your baby supports you :’)  
> JisoosChrist: yeah it’s suspicious cause bitch is lying   
> JeongMom: is that how you talk to your mother??

**HipHopDad:** this just in I’m fucking fighting Jisoo. 

**JunBug:** woah the slut made dad mad

**JisoosChrist:** I didn’t do anything I swear!

**HipHopDad:** the little shit threw a snowball at me

**JisoosChrist:** I did not! 

**HipHopDad:** ask Jeonghan he saw it

**JisoosChrist:** he’s lying 

**HipHopDad:** Sureee cause he’d lie about that 

**JisoosChrist:** oh my god babe I swear

**JunBug:** I’m sorry

**JunBug:** did you say

**JunBug:** B A B E?

**JisoosChrist:** shut the fuck up Jun

**JunBug:** woooooow aggressive

**Dinosaur:** that wasn’t very nice :(

**D-Gay:** yeah Jun was just asking a question and you come at him like that??

**JisoosChrist:** what is this pick on Joshua day???

**NaegaHosh:** I’m confused on the babe thing??????

**JunBug:** ^^^^

**D-Gay:** ^^

**Divaboo:** ^^^^^^

**JisoosChrist:** Jesus fucking christ

**VerDoneWithYourBS:** Jisoos fucking christ* 

**HipHopDad:** that’s not important the important thing is Joshua is a little shit 

**JisoosChrist:** I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING 

**HipHopDad:** JEONGHAN SAW YOU

**OvergrownLimaBean:** am I the only one questioning Jeonghan’s silence?

**WeeWoo:** No

**AngriestSmolBean:** Nah

**JunBug:** it’s suspicious 

**MingHoe:** ^

**JunBug:** when your baby supports you :’)

**JisoosChrist:** yeah it’s suspicious cause bitch is lying 

**JeongMom:** is that how you talk to your mother??

**JisoosChrist:** notice how he ignores everything that’s going on 

**JeongMom:** I don't know what you're talking about?????

**JunBug:** ooooooohhhh (i think mommy lied)

**JeongMom:** ay I read that 

**JunBug:** read what??? 

**JunBug:** (he can’t see it when I do this)

**JeongMom:** jun.

**JunBug:** whaat?

**WeeWoo:** (Jun I don't think that’s how this works)

**JunBug:** (it’s totally how it works)

**JeongMom:** (Jun’s a dumbass) 

**JunBug:** wooooooooow

**JunBug:** apparently it doesn’t work okay lesson learned 

**HipHopDad:** okay so like 

**HipHopDad:** jisoo is dating Jeonghan and I

**JisoosChrist:** ????????????/what the fuck????

**JunBug:** #JisooIsASlutConfirmed 

**JeongMom:** :o

**JisoosChrist:** i literally

**JisoosChrist:** didn’t throw a snowball at you 

**JeongMom:** yeahhhhhhhhhhh

**JeongMom:** that was me

**HipHopDad: …**

**HipHopDad:** so I just exposed Jisoo for no reason?

**JeongMom:** ...basically 

**NaegaHosh:** lol well this took a turn 

**Divaboo:** we have another mom??

**JeongMom:** yeah respect your mother

**JeongMom:** he may be a slut but he's your mom

**JunBug:** LOL 

**JisoosChrist:** ...This just in I hate all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of sucks???


	8. Hand Burglar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DestructiveDad: well  
> DestructiveDad: shit got gay last night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches B)

**Eomma:** guys

 **Eomma:** I have a joke

 **PacketOfSuga:** no

 **Eomma:** hfsldjkdns

 **Eomma:** fuck you let me tell my joke

 **DestructiveDad:** sigh hold on

 **Eomma:** Hand burglars don’t hold on they’ll steal your hands

 **Eomma:** cause

 **Eomma:** hold on

 **Eomma:** hold hand

 **Eomma:** hand burglar

 **Eomma:** …

 **PacketOfSuga:** wtf

 **PermanentBottom:** um

 **Alien:** lol

 **JunkCock:** that… doesn’t make sense?

 **DestructiveDad:** wait did you need someone to say hold on for that joke to work

 **Eomma:** Yes

 **JungCock:** but it didn’t even work

 **PacketOfSuga:** fuck you all it’s like 3 am

 **Alien:** lolol

 **Eomma:** I’m funny okay fuck you

 **Eomma:** tae thinks I’m funny

 **Alien:** oh

 **Alien:** no…

 **Alien:** no I don’t

 **Alien:** sorry hyung

 **Eomma:** dhslsjdksl

 

**PacketOfSuga has left the chat**

**Alien has added PacketOfSuga to the chat**

 

 **PacketOfSuga:** I’m trying to sleep fuck you

 **PermanentBottom:** hyung… did you seriously just wake everyone to say that?

 **Eomma:** uh huh

 **JungCock:** IT WASNT EVEN A GOOD JOKE

 **Eomma:** fuck you let me live

 **DestructiveDad:** you’ll have to excuse your mother he is sleep deprived

 **PacketOfSuga:** … did you just call him our mother

 **DestructiveDad:** not your mother

 **DestructiveDad:** you’re like

 **DestructiveDad:** the dad who didn’t want to spend the effort so you handed them off to me but you’re still there caring quietly

 **PacketOfSuga:** …

 **PacketOfSuga:** I’m going the fuck to bed

 **Eomma:** wait

 **Eomma:** Yoongi

 **Eomma:** are you fucking tae

 **PacketOfSuga:** excuse me?

 **PermanentBottom:** hyung!

 **Alien:** …

 **JungCock:** omg hyung go to bed Yoongi hyung ignore him

 **PacketOfSuga:** I’m too tired for this

 **Eomma:** can we have a party tomorrow

 **Sunshine:** suddenly I’m awake

 **PacketOfSuga:** If you all shut the fuck up fine.

 

. . .

 

 **PermanentBottom:** ho

 **PermanentBottom:** ly

 **PermanentBottom:** s h i t

 **DestructiveDad:** well

 **DestructiveDad:** shit got gay last night

 **Sunshine:** got gay REAL fast

 **Eomma:** Hello I am hungover

 **JungCock:** How many people got laid last night?

 **Sunshine:** :((((((((((

 **Sunshine:** I am a  single bean

 **Sunshine:** ;((((

 

**DestructiveDad has changed Sunshines name to SinShine**

 

 **SinShine:** gasp

 **DestructiveDad:** everyone but hobi (that we know of)

 **SinShine:** I am a single bean so obviously not me??

 **DestructiveDad:** see

 **DestructiveDad:** I want to believe you

 **DestructiveDad:** But I don’t

 **Alien:** I thing I’m still drink

 **Alien:** who got fucked?

 **PermenantBottom:** You

 **Alien:** meee?

 **PermenantBottom:** by Yoongi hyung

 **Alien:** whaaat?

 **JungCock:** you guys literally started making out in the middle of the living room

 **Alien:** we did?

 **PacketOfSuga:** fuck you all I’m sleeping

 **Eomma:** and he ignores everything

 **PacketOfSuga:** we did what now

 **Eomma:** there we go

 **SinShine:** ye things got spicy

 **PacketOfSuga:** oh

 **Eomma:** ...oh?

 **PermenantBottom:** just oh?

 **PacketOfSuga:** I’m too hungover for this

 **PacketOfSuga:** yes we fucked

 **PacketOfSuga:** yes we fuck

 **PacketOfSuga:** I’m going back to bed shut the fuck up.

 **JungCock:** wait… who tops?

 

**PacketOfSuga has left the chat**

**Alien has left the chat**

 

 **Eomma:** look what you did

 **JungCock:** just add them back??/

 **Eomma:** Nah I just passed Tae in the hall and he said “i need to go help hyung throw up if you add us back he’ll murder you see ya later hyung!” so yeah

 **Eomma:** lets just talk when we’re no longer drunk/hungover

 **Eomma:** night kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI  
> HELLO  
> I AM BACK  
> I THOUGHT OF THAT SHITTY JOKE LAST NIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT  
> THEN FORGOT IT  
> THEN TRIED TO REMEMBER  
> AND THEN THAT HAPPENED  
> SO YEAH  
> IDK  
> BUT I POSTED  
> THATS GOOD???  
> Love me???? Okay bye


	9. Someone Please Pay Attention To Jun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JunBug: Hi   
> JunBug: Hello  
> JunBug: I would like the attention now

**JunBug:** Hi 

**JunBug:** Hello

**JunBug:** I would like the attention now 

**WeeWoo:** …

**JunBug:** HI WONWOO PAY ATTENTION TO ME

**WeeWoo:** I’m a lil busy rn 

**JunBug:** ;-;;;;;;;;;

**JunBug:** @WeeWoo at what time will you be able to pay attention to me 

**WeeWoo:** Uhhh idk 

**WeeWoo:** @MingHoe 

**MingHoe:** What 

**JunBug:** HI BABE

**MingHoe:** nope 

**Divaboo:** Savage 

**JunBug:** Seungkwan 

**JunBug:** give me attention 

**Divaboo:** okay but brb gonna go give vernon head 

**JunBug:** fbklb;daflv

**D-Gay:** whats with the spam 

**JunBug:** I need love and affection 

**D-Gay:** ..oh look at that Woozi needs chopsticks 

**AngriestSmolBean:** I need what now? 

**JunBug:** jihoooooon 

**AngriestSmolBean:** no 

**AngriestSmolBean:** what do you need 

**JunBug:** attention

**AngriestSmolBean:** how much attention do you need?

**JunBug:** ...all of it 

**AngriestSmolBean:** @JeongMom your child is needy 

**JeongMom:** Wha?

**JunBug:** momma pay attention to me 

**JeongMom:** oh 

**HipHopDad:** o h 

**NaegaHosh:** um 

**Dinosaur:** Jun I’d help but I’m busy :( 

**JunBug:** THERE ARE TWELVE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS GROUP CHAT AND NO ONE WANTS TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME????

**Divaboo:** gettin dicked 

**VerDoneWithYourBullshit:** doing the dicking 

**JeongMom:** on a date

**HipHopDad:** same

**WeeWoo:** same

**OvergrownLimaBean:** same 

**Dinosaur:** with my parents 

**NaegaHosh:** doing things

**AngriestSmolBean:** I am things 

**D-Gay:** sleeping 

**MingHoe:** same

**JisoosChrist:** I’m not doing anything 

**JeongMom:** should be on date but nooo 

**JisoosChrist:** I was busy at the time it’s okay we’ll all go another time 

**Divaboo:** so domestic 

**Divaboo:** gag

**JunBug:** Joshuaaaaaaaa 

**JisoosChrist:** nope

**JunBug:** but you’re not doing anything

**JisoosChrist:** I don’t like you rn 

**JunBug:** bgfadkj

**JunBug:** brb googling if can you die from lack of attention 

**OvergrownLimaBean:** Um are we just gonna ignore Hoshi and Woozi?

**JunBug:** what

**OvergrownLimaBean:** “doing things” “I am things” 

**JunBug:** B I T C H 

 

**AngristSmolBean has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but Jun is me   
> I need love and affection


End file.
